MY ALMOST OTHER LIFE

To know how I live
Read what I say.
I am no mystery.

Somewhere,
Deep inside the cocoon,
There is a light and laughter.
All this darkness
Is what happens
When a boy is left alone
And begins to believe
That they were right.
For abandoning him.

I don't think that
What you see,
What you read,
Is who I would have been
Were I born into a
Different Life.

I would have been
Well adjusted,
A singer,
Had lovers,
Done good things for charity,
Lead a perfectly
Decent and Full Life.

None of that happened.

Sometimes I imagine that it did
Or feel resentful
When I see others living
What I was cheated of.

Do I hang my parents by their feet?
Blame fate, God, society?
Find solace in the New Age
Where wounds are justified as
Crucial Lessons?

It's all one big mind game:
Poetry,
Past,
Truth,
Pain.

I hope that redemption
Is immune and impervious
To bias and self-deceit...

Because I need a win.